I don't get it.

http://www.korean-drama-guide.com/

Today....lately everything evoled around me being black. My mom broke one of my Japanese CDs, and she said that learning my own culture with help my self- esteem. But the thing is, she's right. I mean, If I'm among Japanese, white people and i worry about being single or something because I'm black...I guess I won't have to worry about that If I'm amongst my own.

In Drama today we were playing bench, an improve game and A guy said that she was the perfect skin colour and all that for a porn star. So, what am I? Too dark for beauty? I watch porn...sometimes and the black girls I see are kind of ugly. I only saw one cute black girl, without being dark skinned. We also played a piggy back game. Girls had to jump on guys' backs; I was thin and relatively light, but buddy...yeah, so you know. The boys kept dropping me on my feet and after that I felt like my heel was going to break off. I guess they think I'm ugly. "fuck, there's a black girl on my back."
Ami told me not to let it get to me, but it did...And so easy for her to say, even though she's part black, it shows in her hair, but she's light skinned...
on the bright side she said she'll pierce my ears a second time tomorrow, YAY!!!

I'm afraid that nobody in Japan will like me...
Now that I think of it, most of my insecurities are from my mom and sister picking and making fun at me. They like my reaction.

but...this thing about racism...It isn't fair...It's just not fair...