Hopelessly Waiting

Jan. 21, 2011
chpt. 6
Bk. 4


I'm afraid. I'm so afraid of rejection and heartache.

"Try not to suffer," he says to me. That was like saying, "Try not to breathe."
But I do, and I am.

In so little time there is much to remember of him. And so little. Not a day goes by without me waiting for him. Waiting for what? Waiting for him to reject me. For him to tell me that I'm only something to look at, not to love.



Love looks not with the heart
but with the mind
therefore is winged cupid
painted blind.
-Shakespeare


When I really think about it, I've never known true love. Pain is all I've known. Maybe it's supposed to be that way.