my emotions

Okay. So I spoke to Desi about her flirting with Vinny and she said she did it because she wanted to see my reaction because she knew I liked him. And then I told her that I kissed him, but it was on a dare, and he kissed me back, she discussed it with him and everything. Can you believe that? She told him everything! my inner thoughts about him were exposed; embarrassing―yes.

On my mother's birthday was when she found out I drew x-rated comics. I felt ashamed, and guilty that I let Ali and Ama corrupt my mind. My uncle was asking me all these damn questions,
-"Did the boys do this?"-my answer was no to his surprise.
-"Your friends?"-yes

-"Have you had sex?"-strong no with an attitude.. of course, I wouldn't tell him if I was...but I'd tell you, dearest diary.

Mom was pissed, because it was exposed to my sister, Nika, my 10 year-old sister, my punishment was that i couldn't go to my friend's party, and she didn't talk to me for a week. The only time we did communicate was when she told me what to do or nagging/blaming me for crap I didn't do. But everything is better now, I can go to the next party on Sunday. YES!!!

On Friday, Toni was really sad that day because he got into a fist fight with his sister, Ama. Toni, don't be sad...it makes me sad... I gave him a hug...because I like to see you smile...I'll do anything... smile for me. He hesitated to touch me back, and I saw that he was smiling, that faded; It worked. I felt happiness when I saw him smile― that's when I realized, I love him.

My anger towards all

I know i've kept in all my anger inside, so I'm letting it all out now.

Ali- Why are you calling me a dumbass? I'm smarter than you. What? please. you thought you where pregnant by watching the Maury show, you told me. Smart huh? Up yours Biatch. Yeah, fuck you too.

Ama-do you honestly think I care how you feel about me liking him? I can't control that and you know it. second of all, if you think im dumb, UP YOURS TOO. You don't know what it is to be in a single parent family. Don't compare 4 sisters to your brother who is a teenager. You don't even stay up with a cryin freakin baby when your mom is out partying. SHUT UP. NOW.

Vinny-don't you like Cassie? so why do you play with me? DON't touch me, Biatch.

Desi- I thought you were my best friend. how could you flirt with him? sometimes I feel like I can't trust you.