Moving on...for real this time

I'm so stupid. Ever since I aded my ex, Bryan on facebook, i couldn't stay off his profile. I'll tell you details, I've mentioned him earlier in my posts.

When I was thirteen, I just moved to DDO, and I was a new girl in school. Then boys started paying attention to me. First this boy did, he was over-weight, dirty blond hair, and chubby cheeks; Bryan.(yes, I dated a white guy!) he was telling me about his friend Matt and how Matt liked me so. Until one day in music class, I was teasing him saying that he was gay and then he said, "How can I be gay if I like you?" "What?" Then he blinked as if what he said was blirted out, I was speechless. "Do you like me?" he said. I looked down and didn't say a word. Yeah, I do...

Then he started flirting with me in the library while Bryan was working on a project, in science. We had a grand old time. That is, until Bryan came in one day and said that he liked me, too. He always invited me to go to the library, play chess, do homework and stuff; it wasn't too long before he asked me to be his girlfriend.Was I starting to like Bryan? Should I be with him and forget about my crush on Matt, or tell Bryan, and break his heart, and mine?

So I came up with a poem that suggested my opinion:
letting you go...

I'm doing what's right
just letting you know
that i can't be your girl
i'm letting you go

I like you, i do, but just not enough
don't worry, you're still young
in a matter of time
you'll find true love

Please understand
i should have told you sooner; i regret not doing that
but something held me back;
longer than i planned.

And i'm sorry
please promise me
that you'll forgive me
i'm setting you free

When I gave it to him the next day, he asked me what it meant. I told him, it was a break-up poem, but since I always wrote poems; (even now, I have a strong love for writing.) he'd always read them and loved every one of them, he still didn't get it.

for a while, We talked on MSN, and had our laughs; he came up with the three words. "I love you." I practically died. "What?" "JKS" "what does "JKS" mean?"
The thing is, we were on MSN comunicating like this. I didn't know that "JKS" meant "Jokes" in MSN talk. That was my downfall. That AND letting myself fall for him.

(to be continued later...)