Ama clutched my arm, I jerked in surprise, I hadn't realized I was day-dreaming."What's the matter?"She asked, her eyes widened, as if eager to hear what I would say and the side of her face pressed against my arm. I always denied that something was. "Are―Are you talking to me?"I was usually in an out-of-it state when they talked amongst themselves.

********
Earlier on, Toni was playing with Ali but not me, and I was okay with that. No, I wasn't. I waited a while to say,"You're so cute," but I don't think she got the point. I pretended to smile. That's what I hated. Ali and Toni were cute.

Ali made made an announcement that she forgot her hat inside, insisted that we pair up. Frig, man. She they always do that. I wanted to avoid him and me. "Can't I just go? Can't we all go together?" He looked at me, he knew I didn't want us to be alone. I'm sorry Toni...but this is for the better of you and me.

Eventually we all went in the school together. I separated from them to drink them to drink water(I needed an excuse to be alone) When they noticed I was gone, I shrugged with raised brows and the best smile I could fake. "I was drinking water"I fake giggled. They went up the stairs, me following, I didn't realize that I was blinking back tears.

********
BACK UP....

"What's the matter?"
"Are―are you talking to me?"
"yeah"
"Nothing!"
"Are you sure?"
"yeah, nothing!" Would they really fall for that?

********
After the twins Toni and Ama left and we split.

"You're not that special!!" Ali said it as a joke because the bus stopped, and I was joking that it stopped for me."I know,"but I didn't think her joke was funny.

She was talking about her dad and how he favoured her most, giving her treats. I didn't want to think about my dad. What does she have that I have?I know Toni likes her. And I need I need to stay away from them. Maybe Ama was right; I should have listened. It's my fault.